“I’ve always made a point of not wasting my life, and every time I come back here I know that all I’ve done is to waste my life.” Arthur Miller
Lately, I’ve been obsessing over the idea of wasted/wasting life and what it means to me personally. Abby’s death was the impetus behind this uncontrollable driving force I now find myself in. I wake up each day with a gnawing sense of urgency. Nothing seems more critical to me now than making the remainder of my days meaningful to me. Nothing seems more essential than getting clear as to what I want to be doing. Each day I open my eyes for the first time is an opportunity to get closer to figuring it out.
Waste is unavoidable, I get that. I have to spend time working, pumping gas, paying bills, grocery shopping, washing dishes and all those monotonous activities of daily life. There are chunks of time that are forgettable in my memory because they were nothing more than routine and each one blends into the next. This is the human condition, so what?
What makes this feel different is the new understanding I have of myself. Even though I rebelled, being an individual was not celebrated in my early life. Emotional separation was threatening to my mother and its effect has come bump, bump, bumping along everywhere I traveled. It affected every decision and choice I made along the way. It caused me to be careless with the preciousness of time because I wasn’t only not fully aware of my inner voice, I was also not connected to it. Somehow other people’s energies always threw me off course in a game of swirl and reaction. Now I see things as they truly were and I am ready to break loose and explore this new frontier.
So in the spirit of being aware of waste, I dug not only deep into my inner world, I also dug deep into my refrigerator, freezer and pantry. I found a green cabbage patiently waiting for me as well as stock and arborio rice. I took those things and instead of letting the cabbage rot and the stock freezer burn and the rice grow stale…I transformed them into a glorious Venetian soup!
Ingredients: cabbage, meat or beef or vegetable stock, arborio rice, onion, garlic, olive oil, butter, parmigianno-reggiano grated cheese, salt, freshly ground pepper.
- Make the smothered (called Venetian style) cabbage. Finely shred the cabbage, do not use the core. Heat on medium heat 1/4 cup olive oil in a saute pan and add 1/2 cup chopped onion and saute until golden. Add 1 tablespoon minced garlic and give a quick stir. Add the cabbage and stir to coat, season with salt and freshly ground pepper. Add 1 tablespoon of wine vinegar and stir until nicely coated with the oil. Cover with a tight sealing lid and allow to cook on low heat for 1.5 hours. The cabbage will caramelize into sweetness.
- Heat 3 cups of meat stock or beef stock or whatever stock you like. Bring to a boil. Add 2/3 cup Arborio rice and cook with lid off for about 20 minutes. When rice is done, add the cabbage and stir well. Before turning off heat, add 2 tablespoons of butter and 1/3 cup of parmigianno-reggiano cheese and stir. Taste and re-season. Ladle into bowls.