“When the body perishes, all perishes, but the threads of memory are woven of enduring atoms..I will pick these particles, weave the threads, and I will meet you yet again.” Amrita Pritam
I know I have written this before but I swear these things that happen are not made up! Awareness equals magic. Last night I was editing yesterday’s post and I didn’t feel fully at ease with my recollection of Abby by focusing on a weakness we shared, wondering if that was too heavy when suddenly I accidentally hit some random computer key that caused an email from Abby to pop up. Oddly in the moment I wasn’t really that surprised. Last year my cell phone died and I lost all my contacts except Abby’s. That was so weird. So I took that as a sign from her that it’s fine to proceed, that she’s in agreement and to go even further to wonder if she wants her own voice heard in this particular conversation. I know it sounds crazy! But is it? Is it so absurd to at least consider that the departed souls remain connected and continue to communicate with us through wordless messages? I don’t know. “I will pick these particles, weave the threads and I will meet you yet again.”
October 28, 2017 “WORK WORK WORK”
“It is incredibly difficult to live with another human being. At this point in my life I am ready to concede. I have failed miserably, time and time again. It is time to retire the notion that I will ever succeed. It is time to get on with life con solo. My belief has always been that I have been reasonable with my expectations. I have always thought they were basic and fundamental. Be kind, do your part, admit when you are wrong or when you don’t know the answer, forgive, be honest, improve yourself, be present, responsible, supportive and be considerate of your partners feelings and needs. The only thing that has defined me, that I have claimed as my own all these years is my love of making art. It proves that I exist, that I have an identity. I know that part of this rift I am in is that I have neglected my art. Therefore I have neglected my self. Perhaps to the point of forgetting that I even exist or matter in the scheme of things. How odd to base oneself on old recycled wood and $.97 Walmart latex paint, but without it I am nothing inside. My only value is in my usefulness to others. One friend tells me to stop being so negative (I don’t want that crap to rub off on me). What do you say? I think it is a cry for help, a cry and plea to help myself. I need to acknowledge how I feel, hear the echo of the words that represent the long pent up emotions, linger in the uncomfortable realization in order to gain the impetus to make changes to the status quo. I have wasted so very much of my life on undeserving people. I have put the needs of others before my own. I have not loved myself. It’s no wonder I am unhappy. So, I have to make some changes.”
PS: Abby loved green beans
Ingredients: 2 tablespoons ghee, 1 teaspoon black or yellow mustard seeds, 1 teaspoon cumin seeds, 2 teaspoons coriander seeds ground, 1.5 teaspoons sea salt, 1 teaspoon cumin seed ground, 1/4 teaspoon cayenne (more to taste), 1 teaspoon sugar, 1/2 teaspoon turmeric, 1/2 teaspoon asafetida,1 pound green beans trimmed and cut in 1/2 inch pieces, 1 medium tomato chopped in 1/2 cubes, 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro.
1.Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium high heat. Add the mustard seeds, cover the pan and cook until the seeds have stopped popping (not unlike popcorn) about 30 seconds. Sprinkle in the cumin seeds, which will instantly turn reddish brown and smell fragrant.
2.Remove pan from the heat and add the remaining spices and mix. Add the beans and stir to coat. Pour in 1 cup water and stir in tomato. Heat the curry to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low and cook 10-12 minutes until fork tender. Sprinkle with cilantro and serve.